Adrift
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: And sometimes Regulus wonders what he's doing.:: or eight non-linear and unconnected Regulus ship drabbles
1. A Moment of Normalcy

_Tangled Web: RegRab _

_Word Count: 423_

* * *

Regulus supposes he should feel out of place. The park is a Muggle one, and, at fifteen, he is much older than most of the others who frequent the place. At least it's mostly empty, except for a mother who glares suspiciously at him as she ushers her two children quickly away.

Regulus shrugs and plucks a cigarette from his pocket. He fits his lips around the filter and lights up, breathing in the smoke.

"Why do you like this place so much?"

Regulus glances up to see Rabastan standing before him. He inhales again before breathing out a cloud of white-grey smoke. "Dunno," he answers before pushing himself back and swinging forward. "I'm young. Young people like parks, yeah?"

Rabastan steps out of the way, chuckling and shaking his head. "You're something else."

Regulus can't help but smile at that. Others might mock him for enjoying a place like this, but Rabastan doesn't seem to care. It's just another reason he likes the other boy.

Rabastan sits on the swing beside him. Regulus skids to a stop and sighs.

"Feels weird to pretend the world is normal, doesn't it?" Rabastan asks.

Regulus takes another drag of the cigarette, frowning. It seems like he can't go anywhere without talks of war seeming to find him. If he's honest, maybe that's why he likes the park so much. The Muggles he's meant to hate don't know anything about the storm that's been brewing, about the chaos that's slowly breaking out. They don't know that he's been bouncing between the hope of making his parents proud and the fear that makes him want to save himself.

Still, war always finds him. It's another reminder that he has to pick a side eventually.

But not today.

"Give me a push on the swing," he says, crushing out his cigarette.

Rabastan laughs. "Why should I?"

Good. At least he accepts the change of subject. That makes it much easier.

"Because I'm cute." He offers Rabastan his brightest smile. It works, of course. Sirius had taught him to play the wanton, and Regulus has become quite good at it. "And you love me."

Rabastan snorts, but he hops off the swing and moves behind Regulus. "You're an awful lot of work," he says, gripping the chains and pulling back but holding Regulus in place.

Regulus laughs. "But worth it," he says.

Rabastan kisses his neck gently before releasing him.

And as Regulus swings higher and higher, it feels like maybe things can be normal for just a moment.


	2. Complicated

_Web: RegulusJames_

_Word Count: 500_

* * *

"I'm surprised you were able to sneak away," Regulus says, smirking.

James scowls, glancing around as though there might be someone around to witness what is going on between them. "I don't need my wife's permission." As if to emphasize the point, he removes the gold band from his ring finger and tucks it away. "I am my own man."

Except that isn't quite right. If James truly controlled his own destiny, he wouldn't keep Regulus hanging on. Of course James loves Lily. Regulus would be a fool to think otherwise.

And that's exactly why it hurts so damn bad. At the end of the day, Regulus will never be enough to make James his. All he can do is cling to the moments he has with him and be glad for them.

"Well?" James pushes a hand through his messy black hair before closing the distance between them. He grips Regulus by the hips, slender fingers eagerly claiming his flesh. "Shall we pick up where we left off?"

Their lips meet, and it's almost enough to make Regulus forget that he is little more than a dirty little secret.

…

"Why do you keep coming back to me?" Regulus asks, sitting up in bed. He grabs a cigarette from the pack on his bedside table and lights up. "You have Lily…"

Even in the room's darkness, Regulus can see the heated blush that stains James' cheeks. The older man clears his throat, awkwardly smoothing out creases in the ash grey blanket.

This is the way Regulus loves him the most. Everyone knows James as the suave and dashing Gryffindor, the bold and shameless leader. Be Regulus has seen the softness in him, and he cherishes that tender vulnerability.

"It isn't that simple…"

Regulus doesn't understand. He's always viewed marriage as something that's done out of duty, yet James has chosen to marry for love. Why is that he is so torn? Lily seems lovely enough, so what is James missing?

"I don't feel… satisfied." His blush darkens. "I don't mean sexually! Lily is top notch, I must say."

Regulus wrinkles his nose. The last thing he wants to hear is how his lover's wife performs. Still, he doesn't interrupt.

"I never have, really. I just want to love and be loved."

It still doesn't make any sense, but that's okay. He doesn't have to understand James in order to love him.

"Sorry." James climbs out of bed and grabs his shirt from the floor. "I have to go."

"But we were talking," Regulus says.

"I've said too much," James mutters, pulling his on his trousers and getting the gold ring out of his pocket. "Until next time, yeah?"

Regulus sighs. Next time isn't promised. They try so hard to find their little escapes from the war, but, in the end, it's hopeless. They will go back to being enemies. Regulus' faith will continue to diminish.

He exhales a puff a smoke, knowing he's helpless to do anything about it.


End file.
